In the Process

Melissa was one of those students who could not show up for class for a couple weeks, then show up for a day, and show me she knew everything the class had learned in the interim. School did not impress her; it bored her to tears. So, she didn't come very often. However, when she did deign to grace my room with her presence, she was smart, witty, funny, and thoroughly engaging. I got a kick out of her ability to see through my leading questions and get at the heart of my lesson way before anyone else did (although, truth be told, it was also kind of annoying).

One day in the dead of winter Melissa showed up for a random day of class, and the students were taking a test. Considering she had missed the entire unit, I told her she didn't have to take the test and that I'd give her some make-up work to do. She offered to take the test in lieu of the make-up stuff, so I let her. About halfway through the test, she stood up, walked up to the trash can, quietly retched once or twice, grabbed a tissue off my desk, and calmly returned to her seat. The students all looked at her, then looked at me, then backed at her. I asked if she needed to be excused, and she said no.

A few minutes later, she got up, grabbed the trash can and took it back to her desk, which was in a remote corner of the room. Every couple of minutes, I would see her body convulse but nothing would come out, so I let her continue. So went the rest of the period. At the end of class, I asked her if she was okay, and she replied in the affirmative and headed off to lunch.

At lunch, she walked up to me and said (and this is exactly what she said), "Ms. Hoskins, I would be in the process of getting pregnant."

I grinned and said, "Good Lord, I hope not." She stared blankly at me. I don't think this was quite the response she wanted or expected. So I continued, "Darlin', 'in the process of getting pregnant' would mean you're having sex right now. I suspect you're already pregnant."

We went to my room and talked. Eventually, I talked Melissa into telling her mother that she was pregnant. However, it took some convincing. She was scared. I'd met her mother, and I would've been scared too. I reminded her that her momma loves her and that she'd need her mom's help to raise the baby. The father was a stable young man (also a student of mine) who held down a full-time job while in high school and who was madly in love with Melissa, but the two of them were going to need help. I offered to go with her to tell her mom; I even offered to ask her mom to come to school so Melissa could tell her on neutral ground. After lots of talk, we planned out a conversation attack and practiced a few times. Melissa talked to her mom on her own and was surprised at her mother's supportive response.

Melissa and her boyfriend had a healthy son, whom they named Michael, after his father. Melissa took a GED class and got her diploma and started college at 16. She continued to bring her baby boy around to see me, and we'd chat about books and babies and life. When Michael was about 2, Melissa told me she was pregnant again (she and Michael were still together). I told her she could keep this one, but if she got pregnant again, I might have to raise the baby for her.

About 8 months later, she brought her children to see me. Her baby girl was absolutely beautiful: big brown eyes, long curly lashes, smooth baby skin, adorable bows in her hair. She reached out to me when she saw me like she knew me, so I picked her up right away. With a huge grin on her face, Melissa said, "Alexandra, I'd like you to meet Alexandra. Sweetie, this is the nice lady I've told you so much about. Without her, I probably wouldn't have, well, anything, including you or your brother or my education. So, say hello!"

I may not have children of my own, but I know this: Lives are different because I have wandered through them. Melissa taught me that being "in the process" means accepting that people feel my influence, whether I'm aware of it or not. In this case, I'm proud of my namesake baby and of her mother. May they both live long and prosper.